Family – Interesting, amusing take on "crazed" over-involved sports parents. Author, former CNN producer/writer, notes Larry King's recent unwanted attention as an over-zealous coach. Author always assumed these kinds of parents were pathetic, bad news. But recent experience has her re-assessing. A simple, honest, entertaining meditation.
Funny story. My kid is in a soccer league where each game a parent from each side is designated to be the "calm" parent, to make sure other parents don't get out of hand. On the other side, a town near us, their Designated "calm" Parent was the total opposite. Like central casting opposite. It was almost comical, like they were punking everybody -- except they weren't. The guy was shouting at everyone on the field, making an idiotic spectacle of himself. Long story short, he finally had to be physically removed from the field by 3 police officers. The guy's son was in tears. The guy's wife was near tears, trying to balance caring for her kid and screaming at her lunatic husband.
It was like a scene almost out of a David Lynch movie. Needless to say, the guy was never made a "Designated Parent" again....
People do get out of hand, but it's not new. I witnessed this with my son (and daughter) playing various sports. Absolutely always someone would be a complete jackass and be ejected. But I digress, as a kid myself I remember chugging pepto-bismal before little league games to have less physical discomfort from parents throwing insults and name calling over my pitching...depending on what kind of night I was having, it came from both sides! I guess in any gatherings of more than a dozen people someone must be a complete moron. I think it's so sad- parents living out their own frustrations about their sporting lives at the expense of children. Their own or others.
Know exactly what you mean. It is sad. There was a kid on my son's soccer team who was genuinely gifted. An amazing athlete. Yet his grandfather came to every one of his games and you could tell, every time the grandfather said something to the kid, the kid cringed and withdrew more and more into himself. Sometimes the grandfather would let loose and yell things at the kid -- all frustration and insecurity and self-loathing really. The kid's father would stand there and let his father act like a jackass and, at the same time, bury his kid.
Some of us finally confronted the guy who told us to mind our own business. The league soon banned the grandfather from attending games.
Thing is, couple weeks later the kid quit the team. We learned he stopped playing sports in school. Supposedly so he could spend more time on academics -- a 10 year old!
Basically, this kid's parents sucked the fun out of it. Some parents can be constructive. But the ones who live through their kids...just bad news.
Rfe:
Yeah, playing little league was fun.
Having the loud mouthed idiots who were parents wasn't.
I remember playing high school football and having some of the parents yelling down at us how lousy we were playing. A guy burned me for a touchdown on a go route. I felt terrible. But to have the lunatic fringe in the stands blame me for losing the game. Still irritates me. BTW the guy who burned me for the TD finished third in the State that year in 100 Yard dash.
When I attend my grandchildrens games I cheer for both teams. I've had some people give me strange looks at first. But now they do it as well. It would be nice if that trend caught on. Hell it's only a childrens sports game. Encourage them it might be the only encouragement they get that day.
I've been booed and cheered in sports. As an adult I understand the booer's. As a child they hurt our feelings and we don't understand why. We are doing the best we can.
I go to all of my grand children's athletic events. I usually sit far away from all the parents so I can't hear their asinine comments during the game. But your comment about cheering both teams struck a nerve in me. From now on I'll do just that while sitting with the parents and giving encouragement to all the kids on both teams. Maybe some of the parents might see the good in this and follow suit. Thanks.
I think acknowledging good plays from both sides is a good thing. To me, it's not about coddling the kids or telling them it's wrong to be competitive or wanting to win. I think those things are fine, good. To me there's nothing wrong with encouraging the kids to try their best, to compete hard, etc--especially if they're good athletes & want to play in leagues.
I've found that when you stand back a little you do actually appreciate good plays from both teams. It's not incompatible to root for your "home" team while at the same time recognize the play of others. I think too often people assume that if you value good sportsmanship & staying "calm" and "centered" about kids' sports that that necessarily means you're over-protecting them, potentially turning them into "wimps." That's absurd IMO. You can compete hard, really want to win, even value it, while at the same time not believe it's life or death or something to act ugly about.
Being a former professional coach and a dad coach, I can assure you, passion and egos often get in the way of what is best for kids. Some, but not all thank God, coach parents try to live out their own athletic failures through their kids. As a result, no doubt there are self esteem issues. It happens in professional coaching also, unfortunately, but as a whole, professionals I have found, usually disassociate themselves from the blood ties that make a parent too close to be objective. I know, I coached my son his Junior and Senior year in high school and have ulcers from it today.
It was interesting to hear that Larry King is human, just like the rest of us. LOL
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They should post this story in every teams start up package!! LOL