Does Spanking a Child Work? Some Spank Free Alternatives »
Posted by: einrad 1 year, 2 months agoBut how are we ever going to teach our children that it is not alright to hurt others when we continue to hurt them as well? What sense does that make? Sure it temporarily relieves the situation but you have just reinforced to your son that hitting is ok to do, especially to them. Do we really want to set that kind of precedent for our children?
Read Full Story at more4kids.info
Join the Discussion 
+ Add Comment
Comments So Far: 65
-
gorillavitaminsComment removed: User banned.1 Reply
-
-
0%
loquaciousrana1 year, 2 months ago
Tell that to riot police when they are trying to quell a riot. There is a difference between authority applying force to correct an action or enforce the regulations and someone being violently assaulting another. Being spanked never encouraged me to hit other kids. Of course, a lot depends on how the spanking is administered just like the illustration I gave above. If someone spanks his/her kids while in a fit of rage then yes they could be encoraging them to settle things in a violent manner; however, when a parent spanks his/her child with a view of correcting inappropriate behavior then he/she is not encouraging the child to settle things in a violent manner. In fact, they are training their child to expect consequences for their actions. Too many people today feel that they should never have to receive the consequences of their poor decisions.
Reply -
91%
mcarpentry1 year, 2 months ago
Diane, Hitting is a different story, when a child is punished properly by spanking, "notice I said spanking not beating" the child learns discipline. NEVER SPANK OR HIT a child in ANGER!, when a child plays with fire are you going to tell them" NO, NO" or are you going to re-inforce with a swat on the butt? It is called discipline.
Reply
-
-
-
100%
kxjoe1 year, 2 months ago
Worse yet, they try to get away with murder!
I think beating a child for no reason and excessively is bad for the child. However, when they do something wrong, I do not see how a pleasant comment will change their behavior. When punishment is directly in response to a transgression, kids figure it out. Plus a real spanking is on the butt, and causes mild short term discomfort. I do not think comparing it to a beating where blows to the head and stomach occur. Or, burning with cigarettes, for example.
I was given the choice as I grew up and I took the beating over being grounded on many occasions. People need to take it in perspective. Spanking has one clear benefit, it is obviously punishment and when it is immediate makes for a great conditioning method. Grounding kids in their room hours later with their TV, stereo, computer and other stuff is not much of a punishment. I wonder if that conditions kids on how to do their time in a comfy jail cell?
Reply-
100%
dandt16121 year, 2 months ago
I totally agree!!
I feel I'm a better person because I got spankings. I knew what was right and what was wrong when I was a kid and I've carried that into my adult life. And I have never beat or hurt another human because I got spanked.
The word beating does not define the word spanking. Totally different.
Reply
-
-
75%
Logan6661 year, 2 months ago
Couldn't agree more!!
In this "feel good" society we, as parents have to raise our kids as we see fit, if a spanking is warranted then so be it, not as so called "specialist" keep telling us that a "time out" is needed.
If we continue this trend, it'll be ridilin for everyone and oh by the way, take two because their small...
Reply -
50%
invest071 year, 2 months ago
vidman04
We cleaned out the utility room at my parent's house after they died and my son found the paddle my father used on me. It was a substantial board with a shaped handle. I used to retrieve that paddle, hand it to my Dad and my backside got very intimate with that board more than once.
My kids asked me what it was and when I told them what it was they got very quiet. They were actually looking at that paddle in awe.
I took the paddle home, hung it on the wall and never had to spank either one of those brats again.
Sometimes fear of pain, with a strong visual reminder, is enough.
Reply
-
-
-
0%
kcstack1 year, 2 months ago
We do not have the right to scold and holler just because we are parents. We have the right to nurture and encourage, while directing them down the right path. With my kids I spanked them when they were little (and it only took a few times)to correct bad behavior so that now they are great kids (15, 12, and 7). No need for any punishments, believe it or not. But my husband and I have never hollered at them or put them down. We treat them with respect, and we expect to be treated with that same respect.
Reply -
79%
uwishtoo11 months, 1 week ago
Amen to that - whatever happened to "Because I am the parent, that's why?" The mumbo jumbo idiots today want us to reason and sit down with a 10 year old and ask why did they jsut cuss me out ? Uh sorry ! I dont need to know why, THEY need to know they will get spanked and grounded if they do it and maybe they wont do it anymore. Gee, what a concept.
Reply
-
-
100%
Harbeas1 year, 2 months ago
This article looks a lot like a Dr. Spock how to raise your child book. Spanking should be a last resort but you are NOT teaching your child it's ok to hit other people, you are teaching your child that there are consequences when you misbehave. A time out space, ridiculous concept. Confining a child to his room, another ridiculous concept(he/she has a tv, dvd, xbox, etc). Your first thing would be to take away some privaleges(making sure they understand why). If that fails, take away some more and tell them that they next form of punishment would be a spanking, Not a beating!
Reply-
100%
loquaciousrana1 year, 2 months ago
What I like about the Dr Spock book is how he admits some 15 years later that his earlier advice was incorrect. At the time he wrote the book that many still adhere to, he was not a parent; however, after he became a parent, he realized how wrong he was.
Reply
-
-
-
-
79%
Sideways_281 year, 2 months ago
maybe if their parents were "there" to spank them. Too many kids grow up in the day care so the parents can have more, or have no father or mother at home because they are too selfish to take on the responsibility to raise the consequence of their sexual actions. I've got two wonderful kids,16 and 13, both got spankins, one more thann the other but she deserved more. And i got one woopin from my mom, and that was all it took, i'm 42 and still remember it and wont cross her.
Reply
-
-
0%
loquaciousrana1 year, 2 months ago
No, putting an adult on a chain gang or public flogging him/her would be comparable to spanking. It would also probably dramatically reduce crime. I bet the kid who got caned in Singapore never repeated his crime while in Singapore.
Reply
-
-
0%
koranagirl1 year, 2 months ago
the problem with the article is that it just doesn't work. never will. the article will only work for quiet, sensitive children that listen well, which is about 5% of kids. most kids are active, stubborn, extremely bright and have a whole lot more energy than the adults they are dealing with. the solution? after having been raised with 4 brothers and now i have 3 sons and a daughter to raise (she's soooo much waaayy easier, my savior!), i've taught sunday school for 20 years, girl scouts now for 5 and i often have 10 or more kids around me--and they're all quite intelligent, full of energy and stubborn, the most effective method i've found is this: talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and lecture and advise and lecture and advise--over and over and over again. don't watch TV--ever!
Reply -
81%
koranagirl1 year, 2 months ago
since most work is done in the kitchen, have a good table or counter top or island space where the kids can do homework, make arts and crafts work on a laptop and then do your talking and talking and talking. that doesn't mean your kids won't ever have arguments or get into fights, but it does help a whole lot and you don't have to hit them, which never works IMO. my kids say i don't get mad, but i do get "a tone", which i think is really funny. in any case, you just have to be there all the time for them and please skip the tv and long hours on the internet or whatever takes you away from them
Reply -
palamaComment removed: User banned.
-
0%
profitweaver31 year, 2 months ago
I think that spanking is unecessary. Firmness is all that should be needed. I have to say that all kids and all situations are different, so no one answer will suit all.
http://www.power4singlemoms.com/
Reply-
100%
loquaciousrana1 year, 2 months ago
How many kids have you raised? Being firm is not enough with most kids or adults for that matter. Knowing that their actions are going to bring unpleasant consequences tends to preclude the execution of those actions.
Reply
-
-
75%
rwrnae1 year, 2 months ago
Depends on the kid. If I had a teacher who I knew wouldn't spank, I paid no attention to them for the rest of the year. Only fear of the paddle could get my attention. Kids are like dogs except dogs are slightly easier to train. Some are like golden retrievers, a firm word is enough to get their attention; some are like labradors and occasionally need a slap on the butt; a few are like Chesapeakes and require a 2x4 between the eyes to get their attention.
Reply-
-
91%
rwrnae1 year, 2 months ago
True. I think it's the hound ancestry in the Chessies that makes them a little stubborn. One of my kids was pretty quiet and sensitive and never needed more than "NO!" The other two needed a swat on the butt from time to time. All are adults now and doing fine. Last year when my son was taking some required touch-feely class in college, the teacher asked the class if they had ever been spanked. My son replied "yes." Some girl then asked him how he felt about it and if he had ever had counseling for it! He said he felt fine, he had been being an ass and deserved it. Women and girly-men have no business raising boys.
Reply
-
-
-
100%
harriermech1 year, 2 months ago
I have two kids spanking worked on my son but not my daughter so I think it depends on the kid. I was spanked as a kid by my parents and even by the school. Wow what a concept. I think we need to bring back the wooden paddels at the schools. Let the teachers get some control back in the classrooms. Spankings do work just not every misdeed deserves a spanking.
Reply -
58%
itsme21 year, 2 months ago
So how do you tell a 18 month old not to touch the stove without smacking her hand?
And dont give me that tell her no and move her away crap, she will just go right back to the stove the next chance she gets.
As kids get older and have the bility to reason, then you can start talking to them but they need to understand no means no when they are little.
Reply -
81%
Obtruder1 year, 2 months ago
Child development is about matching the severity of the punishment to the severity of the infraction of the rules.
I speak of rules, because children under 5 are very concrete in their understanding of the world around them.
I have seen plenty of parents try to talk their children through issues at a young age, and then wonder why they enter school unsocialized.
Spanking is an effective way to get their attention until they are old enough to understand cause and effect.
Better to have a few tears shed than to have to listen to a parent suffer and anguish over their child who was run over by a garbage truck or fell into a backyard swimming pool.
Reply-
0%
invest071 year, 2 months ago
Child development is less about the severity of the crime than it is about what punishment works for the individual kid. If the kid responds to a little spank on the hand or time out, that is enough. If it takes more drastic measures, so be it.
The Libs is this country want the next generation to be a bunch of whiny wimps. The emphasis is not on developing the child's character but on avoiding an emotional hurt. (This is what all the self esteem cr*p in public schools is all about).
If the kid needs a whipping to get his/her attention, then whip them. If the kid only needs time out or no XBox then that is the appropriate punishment.
We should be more concerned with developing the child's resilience and reasoning and a little hurt is one way to do this.
Reply
-
-
90%
nall3061 year, 2 months ago
itsme2 makes a really good point. i was spanked probably up till 9 or 10. after that mom got smart and started 'really hurting' me!! grounding, taking away my tv, games, books and basicaly everything I enjoyed as a kid. that hurt worse than any old spanking! don't get me wrong if my brothers and i were spanked, we did something pretty bad it wasn't a spanking but a BUTT WHUPPIN!!!! and well deserved :)
Reply -
0%
simonsez1 year, 2 months ago
That's why God padded those little butts.
Seriously, I spanked my kids back in the sixties. After one time, it was generally enough to threaten them with it.
Discipline is important to learn at an early age. It's no wonder teachers can no longer maintain control in the classroom.
Reply -
100%
lovelytxwoman1 year, 2 months ago
Yet's see we got spanked but managed to get through life without hitting or hurting anyone around us! Why because one we did not want to get a spanking again nor the lectures our parents would give nor the anger of our parents when they had said do not do that AGAIN! Hmmmmmmmm,it worked I have not forgotten what I did to get the spanking! My children were also spanked and now are not in jail nor have they beat anyone! We should worry more how not using this method of last resort leaves children with an attitude of freedom to do anything they like! That's why kids today are rude mouthy brats! No respect for anyone but themselves! Thanks to parents who worry everything especially this issue!
Reply -
82%
ru4me1 year, 2 months ago
Spare the rod...
Our society is too self-centered and lazy to make our children behave.
We are too fat to get up and we let our children get away with too much!
The children rule the home and tell the parents what they think.
Reply -
86%
77341 year, 2 months ago
Let's see.
Since recorded history it has been proven if you want to reinforce a behavior you can do it two ways.
1. Rationalize the behavior and explain in detail how such behavior is either good or bad and either accepted or not accepted by society at large. Now this should really work with a three yr old who doesn't understand 10% of what you are saying and if he/she did wouln't care one iota.
2. Take the offending one, explain in detail how their behavior is totally unacceptable, lay them over your knee, spank their bottom (not BEAT, but spank), tell them if they persist in said unacceptable behavior another spanking will be forthcoming, this time without benefit of explanation (since they don't care about the explanation anyway).
Now, over the ions #2 has probably caused more wayward children to reconsider their actions than #1.
Simple premiss: I do wrong - it hurts. I do right - it doesn't hurt.
Reply -
100%
77341 year, 2 months ago
I commit a crime - I hurt (assuming a bleeding heart jury and judge aren't crying for the f'n crimminal)
I do not commit a crime - I do not hurt
What's hard to understand about all this?
Reply -
77%
FordTruck5Speed1 year, 2 months ago
Good God, what liberal, touchy feely, nauseating spew this is. Spanking your kid because he's acting like an imbecile doesn't teach him violence. It never has, and it never will. If you regularly beat him to within an inch of his life, OK, that might turn the little jag into a psychopath. But spanking? When does this garbage end?
I can't tell you how many kids I've seen running around the mall/store/PNC Park, wherever, smart-mouthing their parents, annoying others, throwing/breaking things whoose parents spend 20 minutes "solving it with words." THese are the kids I deal with in my line of work that are freakin' out of control. Crack him on the hind end once in a while to FIX THE BEHAVIOR. Guess what? Once said child realizes you're serious, he'll figure out that misbehaving is a bad idea. When he's more mature, he'll make the connection that it's just the right thing to do.
Reply-
0%
invest071 year, 2 months ago
Now, trucky
We wouldn't want to damage their self esteem, would we? I mean self esteem is so fragile and even one spanking might scar them for life.
Ford Trucks forever, from a driver of a 92 worker with about a million miles on the odometer and no sign of quittin yet.
Reply
-
-
100%
puffin1 year, 2 months ago
Gosh. There were times when I would have traded an endless "talking-to" for a spanking.
Reply -
78%
coolwhip1 year, 2 months ago
Two sites for the people who love their children and show it by not using violence:
http://www.geocities.com/cddugan/homepage.html
http://www.naturalchild.com/sidney_craig/
Reply-
100%
dandt16121 year, 2 months ago
My parents loved me enough to discipline me and I know it hurt them as much as it hurt me. You have no right to accuse parents who discipline their children with spanking of not loving their children.
Just think if more parents loved and paid more attention to their children this world would be a better place and there wouldn't be so many uncontrollable kids running around getting into trouble. I feel sorry for the kids who never got or will never get a spanking who really needed it.
Reply-
83%
coolwhip1 year, 2 months ago
I have heard the "It hurts me more than it does you" before.
Many times. I am sure that they really hurt bad when whipping me with a belt especially on my bare legs.
I am also sure it hurt my father when he spanked my bare butt.
Parents can love their children to death.
Me, I prefer life.
And I grew up to be a good person, not because of their punishment, but in spite of it.
When you discipline your children, do you think they feel loved???
It is sooo easy to say that it was a good thing to be punished looking at it from years away.
Reply
-
-
-
-
0%
Miami_med1 year, 2 months ago
There is a difference between hurting and injuring, and it is very important. Teaching someone that it hurts to break the rules is significantly different than actually injuring them. Causing injury to your kids is unacceptable, but causing temporary pain is not. Atleast here in Florida, that is also the law.
Reply
Submitted By:
einrad
I am the Executive Editor at More4kids, an online parenting magazine and blog http://www.more4kids.info.) We created More4kids.info July last year. Why ...
Related Articles:
Why not submit a story?
Also Propping This Article
Groups Watching This
No groups are watching this story. Why not share it with your group?
